


With No Regrets

by threerings



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Actual Space, Because Juno, Brief moments of angst and panic, Episode Tag, Fluff, Get this out of my brain please, Kissing, Kissing in a Spaceship, No smut OMG who am I, Other, Post Episode: s02e35 Juno Steel and the Soul of the People pt 2, Reunion Fic, Set immediately after end of Finale, Spoilers for Season 2 finale, gays in space, okay i need to stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 19:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17607881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threerings/pseuds/threerings
Summary: What happens immediately after Juno sees Peter on that damn car."Because seeing Peter Nureyev again, being in the same space as him, actually being right fucking next to him...it was bringing so much back.  So much that he hadn’t let himself think about.  Sometimes quite literally, when that fucking Soul had been in his head. "





	With No Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't stop thinking about this, decided to at least write it down. Written quickly, edited lightly. I love this damn podcast and fandom.

Buddy looked from Peter’s artfully draped pose to Juno and back. 

“Huh,” she said. “This gonna be a problem?” She cut her eyes back at Juno, making clear the question included them both. 

Juno licked his lips, trying to figure out if he was up to forming words just yet, and in the meantime looked at Nureyev to see his response. Peter just looked back at him, as if he hadn’t heard the question. 

Juno cleared his throat. “Not from me,” he said, voice rough with layers of sand and swallowed emotion. He thought he could see Nureyev’s grin widen for just a moment and his heart gave another lurch in his chest. 

“Huh? Boss?” Rita spoke from beside him, evidently confused. “Wait…,” she took a step towards Nureyev. “Don’t I know you? Oh! Oh! You were that Dark Matters agent! Agent--” 

Juno reached a hand out and stopped her. “Rita!” When she looked at him he shook his head sharply. “It’s not important now.” She gave him a _look._ “Just...later, okay?” She shrugged, but not before pinning him with a glare he knew meant he’d better give her _all_ the details. 

Sensing that part of the show was over, the onlookers looked back to Nureyev, still perched on the hood of the Ruby 7 with an enigmatic smile on his face. “And you?” Buddy asked, her voice sounding as if she’d already grown tired of this scene. 

“No problem here,” Nureyev purred, finally standing up in a smooth motion. His eyes never left Juno’s. He felt a moment of uncertainty, where Peter might have kept approaching him, might have done something… dramatic. Alright…. _more_ dramatic. But then Peter finally broke eye contact and clapped his hands together. “Shall we?” 

That galvanized everyone else into motion. Buddy and Vespa headed off through a doorway to the left, while Sikuliaq picked up Rita’s suitcase and lead her off down a different corridor to the right. “Juno Steel, your room is this way,” he called over his shoulder.

Nureyev was standing in a darkened corner of the cargo bay, ostensibly letting everyone else pass, but his eyes were on Juno. Juno met his eyes once more and almost moved towards him, but then wrenched his eyes away and down at the last moment. He...he didn’t know what to do. Nureyev...there was no reason to think he’d just been waiting...no reason for him to be happy to see Juno. 

“Right,” he mumbled belatedly. “I should...” He didn’t know if he was speaking to Peter or Jet, or if either of them could even hear him, but he moved hastily to follow after the big guy without looking back up, part of him cursing his cowardice. He was almost out of the room before it hit him, the smell of that cologne. His feet faltered, he stumbled, but momentum kept him moving, hurrying faster in embarrassment. 

He caught up with Rita and Sikuliaq outside a pair of open doorways. He moved towards the one the big man indicated as his, wanting just to get a moment to himself. “Boss?” called Rita from the doorway. He looked up, aware he owed her an explanation. More than one, really. 

He sighed. “I...I just need a minute, okay, Rita?”

“You okay, boss?” she asked again. 

“Yeah,” he said, as genuine as he could make it sound. “Yeah, I just need to...catch my breath, okay?”

“Okay, well, I’ll be here,” she said, and he shut the door as soon as she turned away. The silence that fell as the door sealed was an immediate relief. It was loud enough in his head already. 

Because seeing Peter Nureyev again, being in the same space as him, actually being right fucking next to him...it was bringing so much back. So much that he hadn’t let himself think about. Sometimes quite literally, when that fucking Soul had been in his head. 

But now his mind was spinning with images: Nureyev flashing behind his eyes in so many poses, so many places. Beautiful and smiling, soft and sweet wrapped around him in a hotel room bed… but the ones his mind kept snagging on were all in that underground ruin, those long weeks, the two of them clutching at each other as they tried to sleep, the sound of his screams, his own fear both for and _of_ Nureyev. Images ripped right from his mind, of Peter as a boy, those red-tinged memories...of the hurt in his eyes when Juno jerked away from him with a shout. Juno’s desperation to do anything to get the pain to stop, to stop Miasma hurting him, to stop her hurting the entire planet...his willingness to give it all to save him, save them. 

And then it was Benten he was thinking of, someone he _hadn’t_ been able to save. And O’Flaherty. And it was all just there in his head and his heart and he sat with it, doubled over on the bed, trying to breathe. 

Eventually it became easier, and his lungs filled more naturally. He became aware that the ship was vibrating around him, under his feet. He sat up straight and pushed a hand through his hair. His fingers tightened around his curls, tugging a little, enough to feel the sting in his scalp. The whirl of faces receded a bit more into the back of his mind. He guessed that if he was the kind of person to practice meditation, it would have been useful, but all the same he’d gotten pretty good at letting go of intrusive thoughts in the last few months. He felt some of that inner stillness fill him again. 

And just then, a loud knock sounded on his door, and his heart jumped into his throat. He couldn’t decide who he hoped was going to be there when he opened the door and who he feared it would be. He wanted it to be Peter, for him to push his way inside so Juno could just kiss him already. He was terrified it was Peter. He was also terrified it was Rita, come for her explanation, which was so much bigger than Juno felt he could put into words. 

He stood and walked to the door and opened it anyway, because he was a mature adult and also there wasn’t anywhere to run anyway. 

The shoes gave it away. Even if Peter decided to wear orange glitter platforms, they wouldn’t be that tiny. “Boss! Mistah Jet says we’re about the leave Mars so if we want to see it we need to get to the observation screen. Come on, you don’t wanna miss it!” She grabbed onto his arm before he could think about agreeing, so he failed to object instead and let himself be pulled along.

Rita led him into a smallish room near the cockpit of the ship. One wall, along the exterior of the ship, featured a long screen showing a live view from outside. As they arrived, it showed only the turbulence of the atmosphere. Vespa leaned against the back wall of the room, watching the view casually. She gave them a slight nod, but kept her arms crossed in front of herself without speaking. 

“Oh, Boss, can you believe it? I mean, we’re actually leaving the whole planet behind! I ain’t never left before, not even when Franny went on that shopping trip to Base Eta. I never understood why she wanted to go that far just to buy clothes when there are plenty of clothes on Mars...” 

Juno sucked in a breath as the screen suddenly cleared, the vibration of the ship ceasing, and the red of Mars came into focus. He could soon make out the curvature of the planet as they shot through open space away from the only world he’d ever known. His fingers dug into the sides of his thighs, nails clawing at the fabric, trying not to show his underlying panic at the entire situation. It was one thing to imagine, and another to actually experience. 

Even Rita was quiet as they watched Mars grow more and more distant, until it was just a red-orange ball, smaller with every breath Juno took. 

“Wow. It don’t even look real, does it?” Juno looked to Rita to see if she showed any fear, any of his own doubts. Her face was peaceful, though, a sparkle of wonder, or maybe excitement in her eyes. He smiled at that and his fingers relaxed a touch. He heard movement behind them, but didn’t turn to watch Vespa leave. 

Rita did, though. She turned back to him with a bright expression. “Well, boss, that’s that, huh? I’ll just go finish unpacking. See ya later, and don’t forget you still owe me a story, right?” Juno frowned at her haste to go, but she was already leaving. He turned to watch her and then froze, spotting the still figure just inside the doorway, leaning casually against the frame as if he’d been there the entire time. Maybe he had…

He sucked in another breath and turned back to the screen, not acknowledging Nureyev’s presence. Arms crossed in front of him, he continued to watch Mars drift away, heart beating loud in his ears. Several seconds passed in silence.

“Regrets?” Nureyev asked at last, the single word ringing in his ears with heavy resonance. There were so many ways to take that question, he had no idea what Peter meant by it.

He coughed a dry laugh, shaking his head at it all. He had a million regrets. And yet… “Not about leaving,” he said. And then realized immediately how it sounded. “Mars, I mean.” He turned to look at the man behind him, wide-eyed in horror. “I meant leaving Mars.”

Peter had straightened, his posture no longer casual, but his face was a mask. His eyes, though—Juno thought he could see some strong emotion burning in his eyes, but he couldn’t identify it. Nureyev took a couple steps towards him, until he was within arm’s reach. Juno could barely hear over the rushing of blood in his ears. 

“What about...other regrets?” Peter asked, quietly. Juno flinched and turned swiftly away to pretend to look at the screen again. He tried to focus on his breathing for a moment. And he considered the question, seriously. 

“I...” He hadn’t had time to think what he was going to say about this, yet. And he’d had a year to think about it. “I’m...sorry, Nureyev. I am.” He broke off as a thought occurred to him, settled into his chest and clicked into place. “But...if I’m honest...no. I don’t regret not leaving with you a year ago. That was the right call.” He thought he heard a sound from Nureyev behind him so he spun again. He looked guarded, maybe a little wounded, even. He opened his mouth but Juno cut him off.  
“I’m sorry,” Juno said again. “I know, the way I did it, that was shitty. And I’m sorry for it. But I wasn’t ready then. It would have been a disaster if I’d left then. Hyperion City would have been a disaster too, by now. So...no, I don’t regret it.” He met Nureyev’s eyes, a bit defiantly.

Peter sighed and began, “If you recall, at the time--”

“--I know, I know, you asked if I was sure, if I was ready. I know, okay, really. I...I obviously should have talked to you, but...well, I couldn’t then. I don’t know, I don’t have an excuse. I just...did the thing I thought was best.” Peter’s brows had drawn together as he looked down at Juno. Juno looked away. 

“But now?” Nureyev asked, his fingers just barely brushing Juno’s cheek and chin, the lightest touch compelling Juno to look back up at him. “Now you’re ready?” 

Something shattered in Juno’s chest at the soft words, at Nureyev’s nearness, at the slightest touch of his hand. He nodded, throat thick with too much emotion. 

He shook with it, with the effort of holding back, and then they were kissing. He didn’t know if he had broken first and lunged up or if Nureyev had leaned down. Both, maybe. It didn’t matter though, because their lips met and his mind went white. 

Nothing else mattered but Nureyev’s lips moving against his, his arms around him, pulling him close. The feel of his long, warm body pressed to Juno’s, the taste of him, the slide of his tongue. His back against the wall, the edge of the screen digging into his back...it didn’t matter. He ran his hand through Peter’s soft hair, trying to press their mouths closer together. He wanted to climb up Peter’s body, wanted to wrap all his limbs around him, never to let go. 

He’d never felt anything like this before, just from a kiss. His whole body was hot, tingling, shaking. The kiss went on and on, though he didn’t know how much time actually passed and whether it just _felt_ like forever. When they finally parted, both panting into the same space, he was dizzy and light-headed. He nearly felt post-orgasmic, and wondered for a split-second if he’d just come in his pants from that kiss.

But no. He just felt light and warm, and happy. He brought his hand to Nureyev’s face, taking in his expression. The smile that reached deep into his eyes, the relief mirrored there from Juno’s own chest. “Peter,” he breathed, almost against the other man’s lips. Had he ever even called him that before? Only once, that he could remember and that when he was covered with his naked body. Peter’s smile widened even further and Juno smiled back, helplessly. 

“Juno,” said Peter, in that way that made his stomach flip.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said, and reached up to kiss Nureyev again. 

Buddy found them there, a half hour later, still pressed against the viewscreen, flushed and rumpled like teenagers. She scolded them and reminded them they _both_ had cabins, before heading down the ship in search of Vespa.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow my Penumbra blog at [gentlysociallypinned](http://gentlysociallypinned.tumblr.com)


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